My Biggest Fear

My dad and I in front of the Hard Rock Cafe

My past contributes to my biggest fear! My biggest fear is cancer! Cancer runs through both sides of my family, so everytime something minor hurts on me its always in the back of my mind! When I was about 8, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He underwent surgeries and therapy and fortunately was able to be in remission for awhile. However, about a year later my aunt (my dad's sister) was diagnosed with cancer, and a few months later my dad's cancer had come back. Never in my life did I imagine something could bring someone as strong as my dad down. Both my dad and my aunt went through so many treatments, chemotherapy, surgeries, etc. Being so young, it never occured to me that my dad could die. I always shoved that to the back of my mind, except for one day when my mom and I were riding in the car. She brought up the fact that dad was getting progressively worse and that he could die. I openly denied that. A few months later, my aunt passed away. It hit me really hard in her funeral because I was sitting next to my dad, who was still battling cancer, and there he was sitting at his sister's funeral. I held his hand tight and I could tell that it really bothered him. Three months later my dad took a turn for the worst and passed away on August 8, 2003 in the morning. It devastated me more than anyone knew. A few months later my aunt (my mom's sister) was diagnosed with cancer, and around the same time my grandpa (my mom's dad) was diagnosed with cancer as well. It seemed like it would never end. Fortunately, my aunt is still alive today, but my grandpa went to be with the Lord. Through all the trials, our family somehow managed to get by. It's not easy though. I fear one day I'm going to get cancer, or someone else in my family will. It honestly terrifies me, but I know that God will be by my side the whole way! I miss my dad so much!